" He was way too perfect for this world"

This morning I was laying in bed - scrolling through TikTok like most people do when don't want to get out of bed on a Saturday Morning - or maybe that is just me. A mama with a tear stained face, holding an urn full of her son's remains came across my screen. Instantly I seen the hashtags for childhood cancer. My heart immediately started to break, and I needed to send my condolences to this grieving mother. I have been very fortunate to have healthy kids - but I have spent many sleepless nights worrying when they have been sick and thinking worst case scenarios. I feel absolutely gutted when I think of these parents & their babies who go through these earth shattering diagnosis.

I went to her profile to send her a message offering my condolences. I know that it won't make a difference hearing "I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your boy" - from some stranger on the internet - but part of me hopes that just knowing there are others out there who's hearts have been touched by your child's life - even through a phone screen, might offer a sliver of peace. It turns out her boy had terminal brain cancer.

The video I seen, was a video of her son saying "I love you" to her. It was the last time she would hear it.. he passed 4 days later. As I watched her rub his forehead and tell him he was the best son ever - I sobbed uncontrollably in my bed. Not only was this such a private moment between mother and son, but her son reminded me so much of my own. Her boy is a few years older but has those same long lashes, the dark hair, same round face shape. He has the same sweet temperament. The way he told his mama he loved her - like my boy says it to me. I watched another video taken less than a year ago, of her son crying happy tears because he was going to see his first concert - KID LAROI. My son also loves Kid Laroi. I know he would have had the same reaction. Its the parallels between the two that allows me to mourn what she has lost ... because my own heart knows that this could easily be my life. It could easily be any of us. Seeing this video of her son - SO animated, SO full of joy, SO alive and knowing that wasn't even a year ago - it does something to you as a parent. Although we know that time is never promised - its a reminder that we are not immune to things like this happening. Things can change so quickly from one day to the next. You never think it will be you - or your loved one.

His mama often says "He was way too perfect for this world" and I have to agree. He sounds like an incredible kid who put up a hell of a fight. Its inconsolably unfortunate what cancer does to families. Her pain is so intense I can feel it through the screen. I'm in pieces over a family I have never met before. He was just a kid. Kids aren't supposed to pass away. Parents aren't supposed to arrange funerals for their children.

Its easy to get stuck in the routine of day to day, to be comfortable thinking you know how the future should play out. Taking advantage of having healthy kids, or being healthy yourself. These are things that families who know loss all to well are praying for. Praying for days without hospital visits, tests, chemotherapy or radiation. Praying for normal days & routines. For the busy days that we complain about. For their loved one to still be here, for heaven to have a phone or visiting hours. Wishing to hold their loved one instead of an urn or visiting a cemetery to do so.

This is a reminder for you today. A reminder to slow down and be thankful for WHAT YOU HAVE. To be grateful for the health of yourself & your loved ones. To stop taking common things for granted. This is a reminder to have compassion for people you meet. To not let anger keep you from being kind. A reminder to tell the people you love that you LOVE them. To hug each other goodbye. To not go to bed mad, or with hurt feelings.

To that mama whose son touched my heart through a phone today. I know you'll never read this - but I want you to know I won't forget him. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. He was loved by people who never got the chance to meet him, and who will think of him and remember his brave battle. Pieces of my heart will remain with you until your time comes and you can hold him again.